About Process Control (or, “Herding Hung-over, Grumpy, Horny, Undergrad Gerbils”)

About Process Control (or, “Herding Hung-over, Grumpy, Horny, Undergrad Gerbils”).

Greetings.
I have just been through one of the most painful experiences of my life
and, since I lack a uterus and therefore will never have to experience
childbirth, I think there's a fair chance it will remain in the Top 3
forever. After several thousand years of university, I am starting my
very last semester, ever, honestly, and I decided to work at the campus
bookstore for 'rush week' to make a little extra spending cash. The bookstore employs the humourous euphemism 'rush week'
to describe what happens when upwards of 18,000 students try to cram
into a smallish room to buy textbooks for outrageous amounts of money.
They say you can't put a price on education, but the university
bookstore is certainly going to try.

'Rush' is used in the same sense as 'rush hour', in the sense of nobody going anywhere and everybody wanting to impale their fellow man on a sharp, rusty object. Rush week
is pretty well equivalent in terms of relaxation to riding through New
York Monday morning traffic with someone who has given up checking his
blind spots for Lent and is facing backwards and driving with his feet,
while someone in the back seat serenades his pet lobster with Mozart's
Eine Kleine Nacht Musik played on an air-raid siren. Add to this that
many of the people involved are first-year students away from home for
the first time, and so are all hung-over and horny (not necessarily in
that order). Clearly, you can see the need here for some sort of
extremely tight, logical process control to process that many hot,
grumpy, horny customers as quickly and efficiently as possible. We
didn't get it. . . .

Steve Sharam
www.whenrealityknocks.com  [D*I*Y Planner – Paper, productivity & passion]

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